Friday, April 27, 2007
This is my foot. what a joke. acupuncture used to be my PW topic.
now..i really need acupuncture.
it's mm....VERY VERY VERY PAINFUL LA! )):
i've been thinking these days.
these melancholic days
those melancholic melodies.
it's almost may now.
i'm graduating real soon.
not being able to perform for promos
seemed to be still haunting me.
once bitten twice shy.
i cannot flop again.
but..
i'm still afraid.
it's still seems bleak and daunting...everything..and all..
i regretted not joining band..
not being able to do what i wanna do..
regretted not playing hard enuff.
regretted allowing myself to fall deeper and deeper into what seemed a bottomless pit..
regretted taking c lit..
regretted leaving mjc..
regretted not letting go earlier..not tt i've not tried hard enough though..
regretted annoying pple..when i noe i'm being spiteful..
regretted being nonchalent when i know i've hurt others..
regretted pretending i dont care 'attitude'..just tt i do care..i dun show..
regretted hurting you when the last person i'd wanna hurt is you...
see..i'm living my life with so many regrets...
but from now onwards...
i aint wanna do anything else that will make me regret anymore...
especially friendship..
each and everyone of you has captivated my heart so much that i'd find it hardest to let go when i graduate..
2 years seems so short to me...
and i wonder what kind of life will i lead aft i graduate....
i'd always remember those crazy stuff we did together...
nights we spent together mugging hard but always end up slping or playing kinda thing...
u guys are always irreplaceable in my heart.....
i'm blessed to have you guys with me especially when i'm down and out...
when i do not know who else to go for....
you guys are always there for me...
and i'm gonna miss those yong he trips....
watching fireworks...
camwhoring together even though very idiotic at times...
walking and buying durians trips...
playing in camps...
chit-chatting sessions....
taking pictures at the flagpole...esplanade rooftop....posing stupid actions...
remember there was this once when i'm forced to make a 'S' shape for lisi's bdae...
apparently...the most difficult alphabet. yet done with so much fun...
slpovers...chirstmas parties....
even at times when we do quarrel...conflicts....
i aint wanna lose anyone of you out there.......
haha. dun be too touch cos i've just blogged about things i suppose all of us should be thinking of...
i'm so gonna miss all of you...
since none of us have enough courage to say it out...
what i intend to say is that....
leck..no matter what problems you encounter...
we will always be there for you...
all of us realised that there's sth amissed for a very long time already...
i know you love us too ((:
i do not know very much about the rest...
but..
dont you feel that we seem to have drifted quite abit yet i dunno y?
if i dont say it...they dont say it..
and nothing's done to it....i'm afraid all of us will drift...further...
that's not sth i wan....
bcos...
i'd always smile when i think of you guys...all of us....
DaClique..
i cherish this.
i believe in fate...and affinity..i always do...
so many things have happened lately...
i'd say that none of it is happy..
happiness seems to be so far away from me...
maybe it's too afraid to come close to me..
bcos..
i am unhappy..
i dun seem to be smiling..
i just realised it when sum1 mentioned it to me ydae..
my chapter has closed..
and i dont wish to fall into it anymore again..it's very painful for me..till now..it is.
i have a simple bdae wish..
i once had a bdae..celebrated on the road (Deadend)
where the group of us merely sat down and tok...
and once had a bdae celebrated flying kite at marina...
this year...
i've been to this place many many times..
and i still wish to celebrate it there..
the breeze...the night..it's nice...to have my 18th bdae celebrated there...
where i wld find peacefulness...that i need..that strength to move on..
to be myself again..
我可以任性一点吗？
现在的我好难过啊。。。
不过，我选择不放弃自己。。
加油了，佳蕙！
你会找到快乐的小天使的! ((:
deardiary.
8:59 PM
